ON YOUR MARK, GET SET, BLOW!

Andrew's Cub Scout Pack had their annual Rain-gutter Regatta Thursday night! It is such fun for the boys to build their sailboats and race them down the rain gutters. Okay, it is fun for us parents too! We love the excitement. The thrill of the race. and while there was still a lot of fun to be had this year - it didn't come without a lot of finagling first & friends this here is the story of the saga of the sailboat.

Of course the craftsmanship of the boat isn't everything, it also takes a special talent to blow into the sail just the right way to get your boat to go in a straight line as fast as it can. So this year Andrew and David decided to build a catamaran sailboat (multi-hulled boat) having heard it made for a speedier boat in the water. Performance was key and they worked really hard at sanding it and making all the pieces fit just right. The sail, the rudder, the little pieces of wood that connect the two hulls together. All glued just so. Then, they sprayed the whole thing with black, shiny, high-gloss paint and decided to call it "Black Ice" - pretty wicked name, right?! Yah! I thought so too! And oh how it glowed with class. but...It just needed something, I thought. A little something - not too much of anything. Just a little pizazz, ya know? Something to say, "Look at me! I rock!"... er...not I rock the boat... but, just something that made the other guys think, "WOW!" If guys even think...wow? I dunno. But, I do know it needed something, and I decided I was going to help. After all, Cub Scouts is a family activity. I'm the mom. I can help. Can't I? Well, yes of course I can. Shouldn't I? Well now... should...see that's where it can get tricky. But, I was just trying to help. And honestly, in my defense, I'm home all day long, and I had to keep looking at that thing every time I went into the garage to deposit the dirty diapers. Well, that's a couple dozen times a day at least, now isn't it? Why, yes it is. And all I have to say is that it was calling out my name. "Decorate me! Make me sparkle! Make me shine!" So anyway, I just thought it could use something to say "BLACK ICE" in a sparkly sort of way. Some bling maybe! But what? hmm... maybe some diamon... noooo...but something like that...sumpin' shiny, sumpin' sparkly, something like... OH YAH! that's it!!! Jackpot!!! Silver Embossing Powder!!!! Shiny Embossed Words that say...BLACK ICE! Sooo Cool! Now yes, something in the far recesses of my mind said, boys don't like things like that - shiny, nay I say, glittery, is for girls not for boys, but it was too late by then. I could see it in my mind, you see. I had it all planned out and it was going to be WICKED cool! So even though there was that tad bit of...don't do it...sumpin else was saying - BLING ON! And that sumpin, well, it won out in the end.

And so this is where the "most amazing idea a mommy ever had" goes awry! The next thing I know I'm elbow deep in embossing powder and trying desperately to make the mess I'm making look really, really cool before you-know-who comes home and says you-know-what...about boys and that they don't "do" glitter and what are you "messin" with our creation for anyway and starts getting all territorial on me. This is David I'm talking about, but you knew that. So anyway, embossing powder everywhere, and sticking to everything BUT the words I stamped onto the sail! Then I yank out the hair dryer to use as the heat source to melt the embossing powder - ooops...bad idea! Didn't think about needing to actually clean up the excess before turning the hair dryer on FULL BLAST! yep! it's now "blinging" all of my counter, all of my floor, all of my girls hair, all of my clothes...okay, its everywhere! And while Dave is just then bursting through the door and asking where the boat is, overviewing the mess & promptly grabbing the dust buster while saying, "You're using glitter?" To which I quickly correct..."No...no...not glitter. Embossing powder." Because you know, that sounds so much better now doesn't it...when, I suddenly begin to smell rubber burning...and look down to realize while I've been standing agape for about three minutes holding the hair dryer over the boat watching glitter dust hang in the air like a million Tinker Bells just sneezed everywhere - well...HELLO there Houston! We have a problem! The heat from the hair dryer is actually, in fact, melting the SAIL!

Okay, so now I'm near tears and thinking what I always think, "Can anything else go wrong!" Ding! Ding! Ding! Why yes it can! But, you don't want all of it up front. That would spoil the fun!

So there we are with the mess and we couldn't even make out the name of the boat because so much "bling" had dusted all over the top of the sail from the force of the hair dryer! And the black paint hadn't dried all the way to start with, so the tackiness of that paint was making embossing powder stick on places I didn't intend for it to go. So now it isn't a cool black sail with just a hint of bling, now it's full fledge "disco-ball esque, sparkling diva, cubic zirconia meets Swarovski crystals, straight from the channels of the home-shopping network, major BULLA BLING!" if you catch my drift! Pun intended. And I'm looking at this thing that's somehow now come into a life of it's own and thinking....dabnabbit!... nothing works for me! I don't do crafts! what was I thinking! too late. the race is in an hour - now what to do? what to do? Plan B. of course. Plan B. Oh goodness! What's Plan B?!?!

Well of course! Plan B - Salvage everything we can and quick! the race is less than an hour away! I decided to have Andrew and Dave paint over my mess in blue paint trying to make out the words I was trying to emboss. Looks ok, but needs something more. So I paint a lightning bolt design down the center of the sail hoping it looks like ice breaking. or something sorta like that. Only just then Dave says in his oh so "I know you think you did something great just then with that, but you didn't" voice, "Won't dry in time. Have to leave in less than thirty minutes to help set-up the event." Hair dryer again - set on low and in the garage where my hands are freezing it is so cold! I'm mean - ARCTIC!

We pack up and head out and the whole way Andrew is saying. "Do you think it will go fast Dad? Do you think we could win Best in Show? I wonder if I'll win?" Me. I'm just hoping it goes fast and doesn't leave trails of blue paint in the water at this point because the likelihood of it winning on style - not so good.

After some practice runs, and lots of strange remarks by other boys practicing about how it looks like there is glitter floating in the water. To which I say "What??? that's so weird, right...wow, crazy? hmm?" Like I don't know what that could be from because after all you'll remember that we didn't use glitter, just embossing powder. uh huh...whatever. Finally, it is actually time to RACE! Since Andrew is a Bear, he has to wait for the Tigers and Wolves to go first. I can tell he is getting anxious to have his turn. Finally, they call his heat. Dave is the starting judge. "On your mark, get set, blow!"

And there off. Andrew is a wind making machine! His boat is so fast!

He blew the competition away and he won first place in his bracket!

A champion sailboat! AWESOME!

So proud of the two of them!

AJ with his friend Matt

Mamaw & Papaw came to cheer him on!

So David, AJ, and I are literally floating along on cloud 9! We are just so excited that Andrew's boat did so well! That AJ did so well racing it too! He really mastered the art of steering it! I was so impressed! And so, that was more than enough of a surprise for us all! As the races ended the boys gathered to hear who had won Best in Show. Before the races begin, all the boys in the whole pack get to vote for this award! I turned off my camera just knowing it wasn't going to happen for us. I'm mean look at that boat with it's sad melted sail- just crazy! And really, what was I thinking - glitter?!? I mean...embossing powder?!? crazy, Mom! Soooo, when it came time for them to announce Best in Show. Well, you know I was just as shocked as Andrew to learn that he had actually tied for first place! Get out! I know!!! Get out! I could not believe it! Crazy right!?! Crazy like a fox! Bling on!

The pack had voted for Black Ice and this lovely Lego creation.

Which in full disclosure here...yes, I did accidentally knock this Lego boat onto the floor while moving the boats around for judging and promptly broke off the two missile things on the side...oops-a-daisy! I pretty much felt like a heel the whole evening! But, in my defense, I did try to delicately place the pieces onto the cup which was holding the boat sorta bracing them where they should have been before the voting began, and I don't think any of the boys were the wiser while they were voting. Well, until the little boy who made the boat picked it up to go sail it and the two things kerplopped onto the table. Then yah...he knew...and yah...I really wanted this day to end. But then, when the Lego kid also got all the way to the championship round and won his own bracket - then I thought...well...maybe I just helped him win too! I mean. Those things would have created an awful lot of drag in the water, wouldn't they have? Who knows - maybe my accident in some haphazardly way perfected the engineering of his boat?!? I'm just saying! who knows---maybe he should really be thanking me for helping him out? hmm? okay - yah I know. It's like the only Cub Scout who saw me do it said, "Bad lady! bad lady! she broke that boat!" unh unh...unh...can I just have a moment. sniff sniff. okay back to the story...

Anyway, when they both TIED for first place in Best of Show, AJ and Lego-man, I was totally pumped and so relieved thinking it didn't matter what happened before, that's until Papaw says to Dave, "well, it looks like Shelly's sinister plan to sabotage the contest didn't work! wahahaha!" I just cringed hoping no one else heard that! Because I really was so glad that boy tied with Andrew. Can you imagine the hullabaloo if he had not?!? wow! and okay...I think Papaw was missing the real headline of the night...it should read "Who Knew Boys Like GLITTER?!" and yes I said it...GLITTER! because...who knew it?... That's RIGHT... MOM Knew! and let's just keep that other headline under wraps okay? the one that reads..."Deranged Cub Scout Mom Sabotages Contest - Knocks Little Billy's Boat Out of the Race!" Yikes, scary! So here are the real heroes of the night! Andrew and David! What a team!

And in the end - Black Ice with Captain Andrew picked up Two Awards! Best in Show! and Champion Sailboat Racer! Way to go Andrew! Way to go Dad! um...can I get a WHAT!? WHAT!? for the Momma? okay...yah. I'm done. And the night ended with a lovely drive home beaming in the glory of the victory and then...it happened... AJ christened the inside of the car with the fullness of his dinner. Yes, you read that right. In the car. All over. ugh. Tough Day here - take 3, and action! All hands on deck! Swabbing away, swabbing away. gross. but somehow....given the day...expected.